Dearest Little One,
I will always remember the moment.
The moment during the early days, when I looked through bleary eyes into your sparkly then-grey eyes so full of wonder, innocence, and joy, and realized that the unfathomable love I feel for you must be what Nana feels for me.
It is the true definition of awesome to understand how much your parents love you. But even then, it’s still somewhat incomprehensible that someone could feel that way about you.
I saw Nana a bit later, the realization ripe in my mind, and gave her a tight, silent, childlike hug, my eyes welling with yet more but different tears. She always knows when silence is best and waited for me to speak. She then shared that she loves me even more today than she did when I was young; that her love for me and your uncle has never, ever stopped growing. To say my mind was blown is an understatement, yet it felt familiar because I’d already begun to experience the same evolution.
A year or so since that moment and I can say without a shadow of a doubt, like mother, like daughter. You see, my darling, the love you receive has been passed down from mother to daughter since the beginning of time. It transcends place and time, as part of the fabric of our being. You won’t possibly understand this epiphany now, but one day, your own bébé will show you the light. And I’ll await your embrace, and then I’ll hold you in silence for as long as you need.
You are my sunshine. And the reason why, since your birth, I strive even harder than I naturally do to always look for the sunshine, the magic in the mundane. Because those those fragments of time, those seemingly inconsequential moments, are the real luxury in life. The joy they provide, if allowed to, is all you’ll ever need. A few of my favorites, fit for the season:
A soft breeze on sun-warmed skin.
The morning chorus, sung by feathered friends as they stare into your window and soar over your yard.
Bare feet on soft grass.
A basket of blooms freshly cut from the garden.
Slow mornings. Slow days. Staying unplanned, unscheduled, and unhurried.
A flour-covered apron and the scent of something delicious made by your hands.
The pitter-patter of rain.
Strolls morning, noon, and night; gravel, grass, or dirt underfoot.
Fireflies. And the ethereal glow they give to the already inimitable magic of a summer night.
Quiet; time to think undistracted.
Watching the swallows swoop and soar at dusk.
The muffled pop of a fired shell; the smell of gunpowder.
I could write a book of those magical moments I hope you relish as much as I do, but I’ll leave that for another day, another letter. Promise me you’ll treasure the little things; tuck them away for the cloudy days, the rainy days, and every day in between.
You may have noticed that the vast majority of these little luxuries involve Mother Nature: the root of our being, and the source of our real femininity. Spend as much time as you can basking in the sunlight, moonlight, ocean and mountain air, and in the field as you can. You’ll never regret fresh air, but I can assure you the alternative does not compare.
Take your life by the horns, steer your own ship. Take to the field with heart, and stay young at heart — do it all with passion, vigor, and delight. Never forget who you are — and don’t let the world lead you to believe you’re something else. Stand strong in your convictions, even and especially when they go against the grain. I’ll do my very best every day to ensure that your talents and spirit are not dampened by the inevitable and unwelcome influences of life. Stay curious and take adventures, even in your own backyard. We’ve just had a big one — over an ocean to bring a vision to life.
You bring an indescribable amount of joy to my every day, and I pray that one day you’ll understand that every single thing I do is for you. As I write, our (yes, our!) business is being built during the wee hours and your naps – for the creativity, passion, and confidence that live inside you; for your ambition, your strength, and your grit; to provide you a real-life, hands-on education; for your future – and if we’re lucky, your daughter’s future.
Nana has always said that every day is Mother’s Day, and after years of hearing that refrain, I know it to be true. There are days I feel like I’ve failed you, but at the end of each, one thing is clear: a mother’s love knows no bounds. You’ve allowed me to feel the essence of unconditional love, to know its infinite depth, and its unfathomable and awesome, ever-growing joy. A treasure I find each and every day, in the midst of my own dreams, days at home, and days out in the field.
So to you, the little miracle who made me a mama, thank you for giving me the greatest gift of all time. I wait with excitement to watch you shower the world with your spunk, take the field by storm, and bring to even more vibrant life my dream come true. Nana taught me a few things I only hope I will bestow upon you: how to embrace life’s simplest pleasures, chase dreams, and that grace is the most beautiful thing you can wear. And most importantly, from my youth to the days I prayed to meet you, she taught me how to be your mother.
It’s a happy Mother’s Day indeed.
All my love,
Mama
